/ Editor / 02 December 2011 / Leave a Comment 
Sepp Blatter. A leading candidate to be Sports Plonker of the Year.
The lack of women on the shortlist for the BBC Sports Personality of the Year award highlighted how anachronistic the awards have become. Being a thoroughly modern beast, Betting.Betfair decided to launch the Sports Plonker of the Year, writes Alex Lee....
John Terry
Terry, not content with reportedly having a dabble with his best mate's ex, is currently being investigated about allegedly racially abusing Anton Ferdinand. The England captain is always banging on about what an honour it is to lead England, so why doesn't he make the effort and show us all an example? Couple this with rumours of him showing off in front of his friends by ordering burger and chips in posh London restaurants and generally being a bit rubbish recently (see video) and he really is a true contender for Sports Plonker of the Year.
Mario Balotelli
Man City's 'playful' young striker caused a furore by setting off fireworks in his bathroom the day before the Manchester derby. Armed with an array of slogan t-shirts which he's happy to expose whenever he scores and a litany of awful goal celebrations already behind him, Balotelli richly deserves his place on the list. Rumour has it that when pulled by the Police recently, he was asked why he had a massive wad of notes in his car. He simply responded: "Because I'm rich." In seven games from October to November 2011 he picked up five yellow cards and one red. Furthermore, video evidence suggests he can't even put a bib on.
Martin Johnson
Despite his outward appearance as being a lean, mean control freak who could handle himself if stuff went a bit awry, Johnson blew his chances of sporting immortality by totally losing control of the England rugby XV in New Zealand. The squad's off-the-field antics before, during and after the recent World Cup didn't help their cause, but this type of tomfoolery only goes on if the big boss man loses his grip on team discipline. Off-the-pitch craziness by his charges aside, Johnson was also proved to be inept at both team selection and tactics.
Tiger Woods
Oh, how the mighty fall. The golfer who once had with the world at his feet now simply has a golf ball at his feet, because he's under-hit his birdie putt again. Tumbling from World Number One to number, ahem, 58, Woods' private life became public property last year and this year he has had to endure a string of dreadful performances, including missing the cut at the 2011 PGA Championship by six strokes and failing to qualify for the 2011 FedEx Cup playoffs because he was outside the top 125 qualifying point earners. His disappointing third at the Emirates Australian Open was his best result in 2011.
Steve McLaren
Schteve McLaren, who gained a comical Dutch accent during his time with Twente Enschede, returned to the UK shores with an enhanced reputation on the back of some praiseworthy results in the Netherlands. Doubts about his managerial ability were already festering, however, after an unsuccessful stint at Wolfsburg in Germany. His spell at the helm of Nottingham Forest was a total disaster, with a record of played 13, won three, drew three, lost seven. In fact, the only Dutch connection he managed to bring to Forest was that his team played like a bunch of cloggers.
Wayne Rooney
With noisy neighbour Mario Balotelli in the list, it's only fair that someone from the red half of Manchester should also be included - and that dubious honour goes to Wayne Rooney. While the boy Rooney has largely handled himself in exemplary fashion on the field - red card v Montenegro notwithstanding - his hair transplant has understandably been the cause of much mirth. Hands up who thinks his transplant has transformed him into a Beckhamesque male model? Come on now, don't all rush at once...
The 'guilty cricketers'
Salman Butt and Mohammad Asif could face jail sentences of up to seven years for their efforts to 'rig' the fourth test between England and Pakistan at Lord's in August. The other antagonist, Mohammad Amir, pleaded guilty to charges of conspiracy to cheat at gambling and accepting corrupt payments. Any type of cheating in any sport is a bit of a disgrace, but to do it in such a blatantly open way - to the detriment of the country you're representing - is nothing short of laughable.
Andy Murray
We'd all forgive tennis' most dour interviewee if he ever won a Grand Slam tournament. Sadly, that day seems as far away as it did when Tim Henman used to dash our hopes four times a year. It would seem that the only chance Murray has of winning a Grand Slam would be if the world's other top players had to withdraw from the tournament. While not winning a Grand Slam as yet is barely a reason to be installed in the Sports Plonker of the Year shortlist, as he's only 24, he deserves it for simply getting our hopes up. Shame on you!
Sepp Blatter
Even the Royal family are more in touch with the real world than FIFA's ageing president. Gaffe follows gaffe follows gaffe and his recent attempt at trying to underplay racism in football was up there with his worst. Like a Swiss Bernard Manning, Blatter isn't bothered who he offends, but with all due respect to the dead comedian, Manning was never an influential president of an important world sporting organisation.
Castleford Tigers
Rugby League side Castleford Tigers committed the ultimate schoolboy error by showing up against Huddersfield in June in the wrong gear. Rather than pack their regular kit, they took their 'away' shirts - which were virtually identical to Huddersfield's home kit. Castleford ended up having to play in borrowed shirts (from Halifax) and the club was fined £500 for failing to check the rules carefully enough about which strip they were supposed to be wearing. To rub salt into the wounds, the game was televised live and Castleford, in their Halifax shirts, lost 40-18.
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